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| Saturday, May 31 |
wanted to blog since wed, but simply no time. have been coming home later and later each day, hope my parents don't flare at me. It's been a busy week at work, they are starting a new project, but i cant help thinking whats the use, it is just more work on our side and cause alot of complication, rahh.. reali crap.. now that so many files are being put on hold, i can imagine the amount of work next wk. rushed thru the 2 boxes of new files in 2 hours ytd and fled into the vault, i've been running in and out of vault frequently these days, helping both sides whenever i can, thou sometimes im reali torn between wich side i shld help. nowadays, 'baby' and 'princess' are the two names im most afraid to hear, bcus it means more work at frd. i tink i prefer to work in vault, it's more peaceful in there. i have time to reflect on my past, espc the past few months. and maybe about my future, i have silently made up my mind about uni. it's hard not to fonder on those memories. blah blah blah... We had fire drill on wed, haha.. funny la.. chunk all the documents into vault by the end of first bell, walked out of the building and realised for the first time SOSOSO many ppl work in this building, the carpark is flooded with working adults. and while waiting for 'dont know what', i entertain myself and others with this
thou its just one minute, |
| (Your Name) ♥ 1:32:00 pm |
| Saturday, May 24 |
the way they talk, they present themselves.. i was amazed. but there are still many questions, im not ready to plunge head in yet, but its a great place to make friends. well, i have somewhat decided on my uni application alr, if thats the way you think is best for me, i will listen to you. i hope four years would be enough... for many things.. |
| (Your Name) ♥ 3:50:00 pm |
| Monday, May 19 |
you alway surprise with those f***ed up news. its so fast! and it clashes JUST nicely. Everyday we shall have less, and then, none... |
| (Your Name) ♥ 4:28:00 pm |
| Saturday, May 17 |
ONE WEEK! SEVEN MONTHS!!! NO STARS!!!! one more week to consider. i still cant decide, someone help me!!! i guess i know what i am waiting for... anw.. i promised someone i will upload this.
funny things at work.. btw, its 99.9% pure oxygen he is breathing in the foto, so in case u laugh until breathless, i can get that thing for you as well.. haha..
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| (Your Name) ♥ 11:42:00 am |
| Sunday, May 11 |
I turned away, listening slightly to your words. a stranger! i wanted to scream, to shout and rebutt you in your face, i've had enough for the night and you havta scratch on my wound. i wanted to cry out loud, and run away. but im glad i controlled myself well. I walked around the shopping mall with jace, waiting. i was nervous, reali!! but im glad to have you ard, to calm my nerves and help me out in the later situation. it was not easy to walk up and pull you back, but your reaction, first and true reaction, shocked us both. even thou i was reassured later on, but i cant deny, i was irritated by those first few questions, do you want the truth? we were silently stunned. I should have expected, knowing you so well, but naive as i am, sorry for the trouble and embarrassment. The difference is clear, us and them. |
| (Your Name) ♥ 10:12:00 pm |
| Saturday, May 10 |
its a tiring thing! i've been looking forward to that day! reali! but, we are like time travelling, back to that horrible month. i hate the feeling. i tried to control, maybe thats my limit. you said you understand, but what do u know? you know nuts about my life now. every little thing here reminds me of you, i was flipping thru those crown delivery paper, do you know what was i looking for? anyway, i went for the interview. it was ok i guess. not exactly what i expected thou. am having a change in mind now. but i don't know. not really wanting to decide now. still hoping. waiting. i miss you |
| (Your Name) ♥ 1:43:00 pm |
| Saturday, May 3 |
the uncertainty of every situation now, be it at work, home and with you, and the upcoming interviews. my future, and my life, i can't control. i hate it when u decide for me, u force me. going there is not my preference, im freaked out juz by the idea of gg there. ppl ard me motivates me, encourage me to take up the challenge. but do u guys reali understand me? i am not what u tink i can become, i am not strong, not tough enough to cope with life there, somewhere i dont feel belonged to. im no longer the special one, it puts me to tears every night. the sudden change and absence is tough to overcome, it's even harder to catch you, even if i did, it felt so different. i wish it was like before, juz few weeks before, to have you all to myself, and not sharing with so many others. i am not me at work, hiding behind that mask. and the reason for it, is you! i cant show it, bcus she is there. facing the reality, the cruelty of it. gal, i understand how you feel, 'when my world no longer revolves around yours and yours no longer revolves around mine, it hurts.' i urge you to go for it, bcus i can no longer do it myself. i don't stand a chance, not anymore. its the thought, the initiative, thats missing in mine. darling, dont be afraid to try. reach for it. it hurts. |
| (Your Name) ♥ 12:20:00 pm |
